Care for the elderly is a growing concern in Tonga. With its ageing population increasing and family members living abroad, Tongan elders are left with very little support.
Holding the hand of 94 year old Mele, who’s sitting up in her bed, Betty Blake warmly apologises for interrupting her nap.
Along with her colleague Katherine Vaha’akolo, the women are carrying out welfare checks on families in their care.
A paralegal trainer and human rights counsellor, Betty established ‘Ma’a Fafine Moe Famili’ (MFF) in 2008, having led the Catholic Women’s League for over 10 years.
MFF is a non-government organisation that was originally set up with the aim of empowering women, young girls and people with disabilities and in 2015, it added care for the elderly.
“We have trained aged-care people, carers, and they go to homes and assist elderly,” Betty says.
“Wash them, bathe them, feed them, cook for them, clean their house and socialise with them. That is the daily programme that we are running in the homes.
“There’s a lot in their 80s and 90s, of the elderly people around Tonga.”
There are close to 150 elderly registered with the organisation. One of the criteria is that you have to be over 65 and, in some cases, bedridden.
Which is the case with a visit to two elderly brothers living on their own. Betty explains that the older brother is bedridden and the younger one is his carer. Once on the MFF register, their care costs are met.
“I believe this is the only income to help them with their cost of living here and so, that’s why the programme is involving them and giving them a chance to live, and to be able to have a life.” Says Betty
There are no rest homes in Tonga, the elderly and the carers do get a small allowance from the government, but it is not much.
Reciting her favourite psalm, ‘The Lord is my Shepherd’, we meet Akanese, a 94-year-old grandmother living with an inoperable tumour that has grown on the right side of her face.
Akenese is cared for by her family, but money is tight. Thankfully, being on the MFF programme has given them some aid and relief.
“Part of this programme, we have to do economic situation analysis of the family, in order for us to recruit them and refer to us because, the son, he’s part of the fruit picking scheme, the seasonal workers. So, at first, it really impacted the little family,” Says Katherine
In 2015 a pilot programme run by the government found a rising number of elderly in Tonga were being neglected and some, sadly abused.
“In Tonga it was not an issue, because in our culture, we are people, family centered where everyone has been looked after. But then this pilot found that there were elderly people being neglected,” Betty says.
Betty says the worst case of neglect she has come across involved a 98 year old woman who was found on the floor of her room.
“When I was talking to her, she started complaining, sharing her frustration. She was bedridden,” Betty recalls..
“She said, ‘I had to roll and fall down, and roll over so that I can reach the pot. And the pot of manioke spilt on me, and then I can eat the food; it was two days… I told my family I want to die’.
“And then, one of the members of the family said, ‘Yes you die, hurry up and die.’”
Betty paused briefly before continuing.
“And then, what she said was very, you know, I felt for her… “I will not die until you love me, when you love me then I will die.’
“It’s unbelievable the story I’m talking about, but this is the reality, it is happening,” she says.
“There are homes that are ok that are good, but there are a few which we call neglected and left behind.”
